When Mentoring Gets Messy: What to Do When You’re Asked to “Just Get Them Through Certification”

‘Tis the season… for this situation to land in my inbox….get asked over phone….brought up in a conversation.
What’s addressed in this blog is a common mentorship dilemma, but every so often, I notice a shift in the wave of these situations rolling in from different corners of the industry…and right now, the wave is big enough that I felt it was time to write this blog.

Mentors/supervising instructors are reaching out, unsure of what to do when they’ve been asked to supervise someone who just doesn’t have the skills yet needed to start and set them up for success, they quickly struggle to meet expectations, they start behaving in a way where the mentor feels like they are dragging the mentee through the process, or in some cases the mentee even admits they don’t actually want to be in an instructor roll.

The reasons behind these asks may vary:

• The candidate has a big heart but lacks the foundational skills needed to even begin the process.
• They came from in-house and are being fast-tracked and skipping important steps to make sure this is a good fit and the program is setting the possible instructor in training up for success.
• The program (or someone at the program) is emotionally invested in the potential new instructor due to prior relationships or history.
• The potential instructor starts out eager to learn and be trained but then shifts to someone that the mentor/supervising instructor or program have to drag through the process
• The individual “wants it so badly” that objectivity has gone out the window and mentors/supervising instructors are told to “get them through” because the desire is there.
• Another individual not responsible for the mentee’s training insists they’re “just nervous” and will “get better with time.”
• Or, someone higher up is pressuring the mentor to “just get them certified” to fill a need for another instructor.

Whether it’s due to lack of follow-through, unclear expectations, mismatched motivation, or external pressure, these situations are uncomfortable at best…and professionally compromising at worst.

I’ve been in your shoes….MANY TIMES. I want to be very clear and transparent about this: when I pushed someone through the process against my better judgment, skipped steps I knew helped set mentees up for success, ignored the gut feelings and/or warning flags, it never ended well. The consequences always surfaced later though issues that manifested in the new instructor’s reliability, teaching quality, and long-term success.

By “making it work” I was kicking the can down the road hoping it would get better and to avoid an uncomfortable situation….but it just became a bigger issue later and often had more negative impact. I’ve been sitting here trying to remember a single time a situation like this ended up working out (either personally or with another instructor I’ve helped coach though situations like this)….I’m drawing a blank….they have all not worked out.

If you’re facing a similar scenario, here are a few options to help you move forward with clarity and integrity. The thoughts and suggestions below may not apply perfectly to every situation (there are always unique dynamics and backstories), but hopefully they’ll offer some helpful ideas as these are the common tips I send over to help fellow instructors navigate situations like the ones mentioned above.

1. Stand Firm in Your Ethical Responsibility

Your role as a mentor is to verify readiness…not rubber-stamp hours. If you haven’t seen consistent growth, teaching effort, and instructional ability, it’s absolutely appropriate to withhold your signature from some or all of the hours.
Just because a facility or a mentee paid for [insert item] doesn’t mean you have to sign off. Your credibility matters, and signing off on unearned hours could come back to impact your reputation and the safety of future students and horses.

2. Consider Partial Sign-Off with Benchmarks

If you’ve seen some legitimate progress, but not enough to fully endorse readiness, you can offer a compromise:

• Sign off only on the hours the mentee has truly earned
• Clarify what you need to see from the mentee moving forward and write out measurable teaching benchmarks you need to see before signing off on more hours
• Recommend that another qualified instructor observes and validates the remaining hours. A “second set of eyes” is never a bad idea

This strategy provides a potential path forward without sacrificing your standards or enabling a mismatch between effort and outcome.

3. Document Now to Protect Later

Start documenting everything:

• Missed deadlines
• Lesson quality (or lack thereof)
• Any statements from the mentee indicating disinterest in teaching
• Communications with the program leadership relating to your concerns with this mentee

You should not be communicating things in a way that creates drama but instead is clear, fair, and professional. Make sure that not only leadership but also the mentee is involved in the documentation (it should not be a surprise to either side when you reach a point of declining to sign off on something). If your decision is questioned, you’ll have a documented, factual record to refer to.

4. Recommend Stronger Program Boundaries

One of the root causes of this issue is the lack of structure and a formalized process around mentorship and training….ask me how I know and learn from my years of mistakes! If your program doesn’t already have one, now’s the time to suggest implementing a formal mentorship and instructor training policy that includes:

• Application and screening process for instructor candidates
• Clear deadlines for what the mentee needs to submit, reaching hour benchmarks, etc.
• A system for documenting missed expectations
• A clear dismissal policy when benchmarks aren’t met

This is especially important when working with in-house staff, individuals who are deeply emotionally tied to the program, or those who “want it so badly” but don’t yet have the skills to back it up. An objective screening process helps everyone start on the same page and prevents misplaced expectations, especially when prior relationships or internal politics are involved.

5. Ask the Hard Question: Does This Person Want to Teach?

One of the biggest red flags I see is when a mentor says they have the feeling or have directly heard that the mentee “Doesn’t really want to be an instructor but knows the program needs one…so I’ll do it”
That’s not a minor concern and this does not end well.

Sometimes people stay quiet to avoid disappointing others…especially if they’re being nudged forward by someone in a leadership role.

If you suspect this might be the case, offer to support this person in having a hard conversation with the right person. Sometimes, just offering to facilitate a group meeting can give a mentee the safety they need to speak honestly about what they want (or don’t want) moving forward.

Bonus Tool: Use Lesson Scoring Sheets to Track Progress

One of the most helpful ways I’ve found to set clear expectations is by using lesson scoring/evaluation sheets with instructors I’ve mentored and helped trained. These tools help both the mentor and mentee objectively assess where the candidate is at, what needs improvement, and how growth is being measured over time.

They also help remove emotions and assumptions from the conversation which especially helpful when working with someone the program already knows or has invested in emotionally or financially.

Note: Several different types of lesson evaluation templates and other instructor training tools can be found in the document resource area in The Intuitive Instructor Club

Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Hit Pause and Voice Your Concerns

If you’re feeling pressured to sign off on someone who isn’t ready, don’t be afraid to speak up and clearly communicate your concerns. Mentorship should not require you to drag someone across the finish line or ignore warning flags.

If you’re navigating this kind of challenge and looking for a safe space to talk it through, ask questions, or compare notes with others in the field, the Intuitive Instructor Club offers a community where you can do just that. We don’t have all the answers…but we do have a network of instructors and mentors who care about getting it right, supporting each other, and raising the bar together.

You’re not alone in this! Know that you’re doing the right thing by taking situations like this seriously and it often shows that you care deeply about what you do as a mentor and that you want to set other instructors in training up for success because you know how much impact they can have on their future students, horses, support teams, and other staff.

More in-depth videos with guidance on mentoring, instruction theory, and countless other topics in The Intuitive Instructor Club video library.

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Disclaimer: The information provided by Hoof Falls & Footfalls is for educational purposes only and is intended to support instructors in expanding their knowledge and skills. It is not a substitute for professional training, certification, or individual judgment. By choosing to implement any of the ideas, techniques, or practices shared here, you do so at your own risk and accept full responsibility for the outcomes. Hoof Falls & Footfalls and its creator, Saebra, assume no liability for any injuries, damages, or losses resulting from the use of the information provided. Always ensure the safety and well-being of your students, horses, and yourself by following appropriate safety guidelines and industry best practices.